The kids aren't alright

Indefinite ban on underage shows in the CBD

By Julia Francis and Peter Haydon

Recently, at the Metro nightclub, an assault occurred, involving a security guard and some overage people trying to get into an underage event. This act of violence is the latest in a series of assault associated with the venue. In response to "community concern", Sue Maclellan, of Consumer Affairs Victoria Liquor Licensing (CAVLL) announced an indefinite ban on all underage events in the CBD, pending "the development of a long-term strategy on the issue".
The ban affects venues popular with the promoters and patrons of underage events, such as the Metro, The Pony, The Arthouse, The Greenroom, Q.B.H, The Hi-Fi Bar, but is not limited to such venues.
Although such venues are licensed, they can apply to CAVLL for "special consent" to hold an underage event. This involves, among other things, the locking of beer taps, the removal of any alcohol from display, and a total ban on the service of alcohol to any patron whether adult or underage. Currently, CAVLL is "very unlikely" to give permission to licensed venues for such events, although one exception has already been made in the case of a pre-booked international performance at the Hi-Fi Bar.
CAVLL's Sue Maclellan points out that the current ban is very limited and that underage gigs are still being held. "At the time of the ban, there were not that many underage events in the pipeline. Generally speaking, not that many underage gigs are held in the CBD - we usually only have a few applications here and there. Also, there are still 620 Freeza underage events being held in Victoria each year, and unlicensed venues are still available. I don't believe the temporary ban has stopped underage gigs throughout Melbourne."

The ban has, however, caused much anger and frustration amongst underage gig seekers, who are now finding their weekends somewhat uneventful. Although the occasional show is being held outside of the CBD, the crowds and the ambience just aren't the same. And most unlicensed venues have neither the equipment nor the capacity to deal with such events.

The album launch of band Sounds Like Chicken is a case in point. The punk-ska band, much beloved of the underage crowd, had planned to hold their launch in mid-October at The Greenroom in Elizabeth Street. Because of the ban, they frantically relocated just days before the launch, finally ending up in an unlicensed café in Collingwood. A pleasant little venue hung about with local art and often host to poetry readings, it is essentially a small house with a capacity of 50, too small a venue for a band of ever-growing popularity that had broken attendance records at The Arthouse with a mere single launch. Consequently, many of those who lined up to see the band were turned away.

Giving underage gigs the finger - Sounds Like Chicken (photo: Simon Gray)

Some suburban community halls have been used, but noise levels and a lack of "ambience" make the use of such venues unpopular with local residents, bands and their fans. Consequently, lower attendance levels also make them unpopular with promoters. Chris Bosma of Jackknife Music, a promoter of underage gigs since 1999, says "The costs to run a gig in local halls compared to a live music venue are over double, which means you would have to either double attendance fees or lose money. They are also based in the suburbs, meaning a lot of kids can't get to them, or in a lot of cases wouldn't be allowed to travel that far. Also licensed venues already have security, P.A systems, public liability insurance, and so on. These venues are real live music venues that have the feel of a gig."
Many young people are angry also because of the indefinite nature of the ban. Maclellan explains CAVLL's thinking on this issue: "We set no target date for this review because we wanted to do it properly, to put the right controls in place to make underage and all-ages events safe. We need to do research, to get feedback from licensees, young people and other stakeholders, so we don't simply come up with a knee-jerk response."
Maclellan points out that CAVLL has been working on this problem for years: "We've tried different times of day for such gigs. Two years ago, we had a ban on underage events in Chapel Street, resulting in effective changes. I'm talking to interstate colleagues to see how they handle it. Often conditions for special consents are far more stringent in other states than they have been here."

CAV Liquor Licensing, and the concerned community, may be sincerely worried about the problems of violence at underage venues, but are their fears based on substantial evidence? Chris Bosma again: "I run punk, ska, rock and hardcore gigs. In the last five years I've done around 50 shows. In that time there has been not one act of violence against security, bands or other punters. In my own days of being underage, I went to probably another 50 gigs. Same again, no violence. These are kids who love music, play music, they are all friends there."

Sue Maclellan believes there are real grounds for concern. "Recently, there have been eight incidents at underage venues where the police have attended and dealt with offenses. I have young people telling me of other incidents, including quite a bit of theft at these venues, brawls that have to be broken up, that are of sigificant concern. A number of people adjacent to some of these premises have expressed concern in the broader sense, not just over violence but the manner in which people leave the venues after shows, smoking and so on."
 Chris Bosma has contacted CAV Liquor Licencing to discuss the ban, but feels frustrated at the apparent lack of understanding of the issues displayed. "It's a joke really. LLV do not care about this issue. I have spoken to Ms Maclellan - she doesn't understand the problem of two different 'music scenes' - she doesn't understand anything about the issue. This isn't a problem someone sitting behind a desk should have anything to do with. I don't see this problem being resolved anytime soon, which is a real shame."
Ms Maclellan demurs. "A number of parents in this office have kids who attend these events. I used to go to such gigs myself, though in a different era! I realise there are different gigs targeted at different underage age groups, and catering to a whole range of different music and dance styles."
CAV Liquor Licensing are "keen to hear the views of young people, who can email liquor@justice.vic.gov.au or write to CAV Liquor Licensing, Level 2, 452 Flinders St, Melbourne."
Although CAV Liquor Licensing are sincere in their motives, they may be somewhat out of touch with the needs of youth; the desire to gather in clans and let out adolescent energy, in positive ways if possible, in negative ways if not. They may also have the current, contagious and well-nigh incurable disease of bodies responsible in some way for minors, the symptom of which is over-protection to avoid possible legal liability. Parents, with ever-increasing fears for their offspring, are unwittingly a major carrier for this disease.
As a consequence, CAVLL may have underestimated the negative and possibly damaging effects of their ban. From the young gig-goers point of view, it still looks like a hasty and ill-considered knee-jerk reaction to the kind of bowdlerising community pressure they are all too familiar with.

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Spread too thin

Oh bloody hell I am so tired. I am so tired that I nearly stopped writing this sentence because I couldn't be at all bothered with finishing it. But then I did, and now I think I may have started something. I'm not yet quite sure what that "something" is, and neither are you, for I've started similar things before and they've gone nowhere but into the bottomless pit of my suppressed frustration...

I'm tired because for the last howeverlong our little band has been making an album, and then perpetrating it upon unwitting ears for the betterment of humanity (My sense of delusion and irony is firmly intact. How about yours? It's good to have balance).

It all started with a "ping" of an idea to embark on a tour up the East Coast of this misshapen-biscuit country, in the hope of a rendezvous with a certain "eloped" drummer. Let's call him "John". For the sake of the story, we'll call his elopement the "John & Yoko Syndrome". For the sake of harmony I'll now stop referring to his relationship as thus.

Anyway, such is the gamut of glut in rockband availability at the moment, it is necessary to be wily, clever, ruthless and insanely driven (read: diabolical psychopathic genius) in terms of marketing and pushing oneself. In other words: "Why the hell would a band booker in another state let another bunch of louts driving up the coast in a clapped-out buzzbox dragging on the bitumen under the extreme weight of beer, amplifiers and the palpable, liquid stench of close-quartered boys...pant!... play at their venue?" And the answer is not, unfortunately, "Because we rock!"

Everyone in the world, it would seem at the moment, is either in a band or shagging someone who is/was/wants to be/pretends to be. And everyone's attempting to stay one step ahead of the other. But, GAWD! It's hard to flog it constantly when one is sidetracked so by such devilries as work, beer and eloping drummers.

I dreamt up a plan moons ago that the best way to get gigs in foreign states with bookers who wouldn't know our band if we smacked them in the head, was to make it a bit more special for them. We'd have an EP! And we'd call it a tour! Bands do this all the time! "Hey bookerdude, we're touring our new EP, and if we've got time, we'd like to squeeeeze in a stop at your venue. If we've got time..." Gotta make them want us, not the other way 'round, I thought. So off went the demo's and bio's, and off we went to attempt to orchestrate the making of, oh, say, a three or four track EP.

This was all dandy until we got into the studio and realised we had eight songs, that we'd cleverly written a new one that just HAD to be on there and that our eyes had started becoming bigger than our stomachs. Suddenly we had an album on our hands, which automatically makes everything bigger, sillier and smellier. Suddenly we were spending more money, the EP launch was now an album launch, there were more people helping, new drummers (that hadn't yet eloped) to get up-to-scratch, more expectations, and not enough time to sleep or eat properly (coffee, if taken strong enough so that the spoon stands up in it, is solid enough to be deemed food).

At the same time we were still playing the odd gig, having the odd rehearsal and I was still feebly attempting to book our "tour", which was fast leaning more towards being that "bunch of louts on a boozy road-trip" thing. Sleep continued to be mindlessly attacked and battered.

And sleep deprivation, I've found, is often just cause for complete randomness. Sometimes with hilarious effect - and other times to the complete bewilderment of others.

Vegemite is best spread thickly, otherwise it's just salty bread. In other words: Just because my finger is in all the pies, doesn't necessarily mean I'll get to eat any of them. Your fingers get burnt and you just bake more pies. Sooner or later a man's gonna run out of fingers.

Scientists claim thin vegemite doesn't amount to hill of beans in crazy world

Word.

We've just launched an album that we like a lot. The launch was great fun, and a comprehensive success. But then we went to Sydney to do the lone, solitary gig we got on our "tour". We drove all the way up and back for 16 bucks, and all because I didn't have enough vegemite on my bread and I burnt my fingers in all the bloody pies.

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