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Nearer my gourd to thee

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Andrew Clermont wearing a friendly starfish

If you have never seen Totally Gourdgeous, there are two things you need to know. Firstly, all the instruments are made from gourds. We're talking fretless gourd-bass, gourd-bugle, gourd-guitar, gourd-mbira, gourd-drumkitette (Carl Pannuzzo also uses brass cymbals and wooden sticks), gourd-fiddle and gourd-mandolin.

Secondly, Totally Gourdgeous is something of an alt. folk supergroup. Mal Webb (he of the extraordinary vocal gymnastics), Penelope Swales (with a solo folk pedigree as long as your arm), Carl Pannuzzo (of diverse solo projects) and Andrew Clermont (three times Australian Bluegrass Guitar Champion - and he's playing mandolin and violin!) all have enviable reputations. They can all sing. That they can all sing together, in tune, with rapid changes and harmonies that would make a jazz vocal group look thoughtful, is a startling bonus. That they can do this with witty songs while playing great-sounding homemade instruments with a flair that can often be described as virtuosic, makes them a must-see.

Oh, and the costumes are cool...

Carl Percussionnuzzo

Each band member is an accomplished songwriter. Their repertoire reflects this: they play some beloved covers from the likes of Batterz (the sadly-deceased legend of seriously-funny, seriously-weird folk) thrown in. Their eclectic mix ranges from the jazz-funk-reggae influenced offerings of Mal Webb and Carl Pannuzzo, to the wordy, witty ballads of Penelope Swales and the accomplished, musically complex songs of Andrew Clermont.

Verbal wit is a key aspect of their work. Thus Mal Webb's song Two and a dog a self-deprecating ditty about small crowds which every gigging musician can relate to:

Two and a dog, two and a dog, two and a dog is all I got
I must admit it's not a lot
A superstar is what I'm not
My property just isn't hot
This dog has had its day

Playing at the gig tonight
I shut my eyes to hide the sight
The empty chairs look on in pain
They try to cheer but all in vain
And in between the songs I can hear the barman breathing
And the only other sound I hear is the sound of people leaving...

Brown study: Mal ponders the harshness of audiences

The Totally Gordgeous gigging style is also casual, friendly and witty. Penelope, Mal and Carl especially can be verbally gymnastic, and aren't afraid to work the audience, or to play long-forgotten and under-rehearsed songs fom their murky pasts. Thus Carl Pannuzzo eventually remembered enough words to honour an audience request for his protest hit "Jabiluka", and it was well worth the effort.

As I said, the band had taped the ABC TV music quiz show Spicks and Specks the previous day. Amongst other things, they played for a segment where the band does an unusual arrangement of a well-known song without the original words, and each team has to guess the original song. Apparently Mal Webb had carefully written gourd-oriented lyrics to all the covers they were to play, only to find the day before the taping that these were not acceptable. At the urging of the audience, these lyrics were given their first and probably final performance. Tthe Webb-esque humour stood up to the sense of occasion: you shoulda been there.

Carl Pannuzzo produced his usual energetic performance with his dramatic side-mouthed vocals and frenetic, occasionally stick-dropping drumming. Apparently he was somewhat unwell - you couldn't have picked it from the energy of his performance, though his smile may have been a tad more manic that usual.

The only thing that detracted from the evening for me is that sometimes their sound was a little...relentless. The sheer density of vocal and instrumental work, even with each part clear and distinct, makes you long for a bit of sustained minimalism and fragility of sound. Lots of powerful voices at play here. But this is a minor criticism of what was an overwhelmingly masterful performance.

You can find out more about Totally Gourdgeous and its members here.

Disclosure: Peter Haydon is a mate of Penelope Swales, has had dinner with the rest of the band, and once injured himself trying to understand Mal Webb.

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Band Names -
The Novel

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Whatever the reason, surely you’re not personally to blame for the fact that your band name keeps getting longer and longer, or the fact that everyone in your band now twitches when the dreaded phrase ‘new band name’ comes up. So if you’re feeling uninspired and simply can’t take any more red-wine-induced late night band name sessions, then never fear, The Dues is here. We’ve come up with a whole list of unhelpful suggestions and some band-name trivia that we believe is least likely to result in a successful new band name or, for that matter, to ever be asked at a pub trivia night.

According to a site probably made by an ill-informed teenager on the always reliable world wide whacky, the band with the longest band name is And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead. It doesn’t sound that long, but it’s actually an abbreviation of their real name which is The Clouds That Fondle Jagged Crags and Raging Storms Conspire And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead.

Catchy, if not a little difficult to chant over and over again when you want an encore.

Some other inspiring and lengthy band names include Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards, The Preston School of Industry, Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Andrew Bird’s Bowl of Fire, Acid Mothers Temple and the Melting Paraiso U.F.O, Butch Walker and the Let’s Go Out Tonites, Tom Rogers and The Twin Sets and the successfully lengthy My Friend The Chocolate Cake. Apparently size does matter when it comes to names.[Er...Blur, U2?...oh, never mind...Ed.]

Of course if you’re truly stuck for a name you can always follow in the footsteps of Toad the Wet Sprocket who took their band name from Monty Python’s classic Rock Notes skit from their Contractual Obligation Album. The skit features a number of other such catchy names, that surprisingly have yet to be used by other bands. Below is a short extract from Rock Notes that you may want to take to your next band-meeting to get the creative juices flowing:

“...Dead Monkeys are to split up again, according to their manager, Lefty Goldblatt. They've been in the business now ten years, nine as other groups. Originally the Dead Salmon, they became for a while, Trout, Then Fried Trout, then Poached Trout In A White Wine Sauce, and finally, Herring. Splitting up for nearly a month, they re-formed as Red Herring, which became Dead Herring for a while, and then Dead Loss, which reflected the current state of the group...”

And so it goes on, with plenty more fishy references to choose from as the skit progresses. However if nothing there appeals perhaps you could focus on other fishy areas of life, like politics for example. Maybe Kevin 07, The Rudds, Where’s John Howard now and who cares? or perhaps The Whitlams (damn, that’s taken). Actually Alexander Downer has a sort of psycho-grunge feel...

Well maybe it’s true that all the good band names are already taken. If so, all we can do is wish you good luck. Remember, if in the end you really can’t come up with a satisfactory band name, you can always ditch the band and go solo..... Wait a minute, there’s a good name for a band – Ditch The Band...

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